OK, I'm not-so-abruptly abandoning my exploits of doing random things, trying to appear on TV, and walking the road to fame and fortune. It takes far too much effort and I've well and truly lost interest in it. What's great about being famous anyway? You can't do embarrassing things and you can kiss goodbye a personal life. Not for me thank you, I just want the fortune.
So I've been thinking of a new angle. And a brainwave came on the day Santa brought gifts to all of the world's well-behaved children.
For Christmas, my sister's (ahem, much much younger) boyfriend gave me this masterpiece - 1001 Beers: You Must Try Before You Die. Ordinarily, I loathe being told by strangers what I must or mustn't do - not least by some arrogant charlatan who thinks he knows better than my own taste buds - but this was a very welcome present. In fact, it was so good that I felt slightly awkward giving him a mug featuring a crest of a football team he doesn't support. In fact, he doesn't have any interest in the sport, let alone even been to a match.
I like drinking beers. I used to hate the taste and preferred alcopops but those embarrassing days are thankfully over. I now order beers that I've never heard of and explore the ales. My dad always encouraged me to try something new and keep an open mind... poignant perhaps but he probably didn't have my current idea in mind when he was dispensing this life advice.
So my plan is this - over the next five years, I will try every beer on 1001 Beers and review it.
The book is edited by one bloke called Adrian Tierney Jones but has over 40 contributors. In my view this is ridiculous - a true critique must be one person, one opinion, one judgement. My mission is to become a fine beer connoisseur by the time my mission ends and also learn how to spell "connoisseur" without the aid of a spell checker.
The first review coming very soon.
So yeah, I start off by saying I want a fortune only to commit myself to drinking for the next 5 years. That'll work eh? Nice one Willis.